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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

⏲ 4:49 👁 27.8M

Counterpoints40K

Best Episode Yet! | A New Life | Old Hammer & Bolter Breakdown | Episode 13

⏲ 24 minutes 46 seconds 👁 240.3K

I3erzerker

Hammer and Bolter | Artefacts - Abaddon the Despoiler

⏲ 1 minute 20 seconds 👁 449K

A 13-year-old boy and two others still at large were charged in the Kajang Magistrate's Court on Friday (May 3) for animal cruelty by setting a kitten on fire last week.<br/><br/>CCTV footage of the incident has gone viral.<br/><br/>Read more at https://tinyurl.com/3xjwzk68<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline

Boy, 13, pleads guilty to setting kitten on fire

⏲ 1:13 👁 11.5M

Captain Sakan

A Glorious Victory - Hammer and Bolter | Warhammer+ TV (2023)

⏲ 59 seconds 👁 9.3K

Adeptus Musica Imperatoria

Exterminar Eldars - Hammer and Bolter

⏲ 21 seconds 👁 191.8K

Bridgerton, Reba, Archer, Atlas and Jerry Seinfeld's Unfrosted. Plus Katt Williams, John Mulaney and the Roast of Tom Brady coming to you LIVE. Here's a sneak peek at what's coming to Netflix in May.<br/><br/>Timecodes:<br/><br/>Drama - 0:12<br/><br/>Action - 1:13<br/><br/>Comedy - 1:39<br/><br/>Nonfiction - 4:36<br/><br/>Kids & Family - 6:46<br/><br/>And More - 7:57

What's New on Netflix? | For May 2024

⏲ 9:17 👁 38.3M

leon-efl

Hammer and Bolter edit: Dreadnought attacks Eldar but he doesnt stay still for 3 seconds

⏲ 12 seconds 👁 569.7K

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Undercity | Old Hammer & Bolter Breakdown | Episode 14

⏲ 26 minutes 38 seconds 👁 78.2K

Credit: SWNS /Steve Bourdo<br/><br/>A woman gave a speech on her ex-husband's wedding day addressed to his new partner - and the pair get along and have dinners together.<br/><br/>Leah Bourdo, 39, read the emotional speech to her ex-husband Steve Bourdo’s new wife, Shonda, 35, on their wedding day in July 2023.<br/><br/>Steve, 38, and Leah have two daughters together, Kennedy, 13, and Harper, 11, and have worked hard to be able co-parent well.<br/><br/>When the pair divorced in January 2016, they didn’t speak for four years and could only communicate through email and Leah’s parents.<br/><br/>After letting it all out in a conversation, they decided to \

“My Ex-wife Gave a Speech to My New Wife on Our WEDDING DAY\

⏲ 3:19 👁 32.7M

Barry Walts

I have pooped myself | a Hammer and Bolter 40k Parody

⏲ 49 seconds 👁 162K

Adeptus Musica Imperatoria

Cadianos vs Tiránidos - Hammer and Bolter

⏲ 1 minute 51 seconds 👁 1.5M

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