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_charlie-sheen-needs-an-intern-and-valium.jpg "Metanews: After having “gobbled the soft target” of reaching 2 million Twitter followers like a “bag of troll-house zombie chow,” the unstoppable %u2013and not at all careering towards a full mental breakdown most likely ending in catatonia %u2013 Charlie Sheen is enlisting an intern with there being zero risk of media interest drying up. The perfect opportunity for someone looking for a foot-in-the-door into the heady heights of Hollywood royalty and permanent psychological damage. The advert went something like this%u2026<br/><br/>“Please send a CV, full body shot (does not have to be professional) and your cup size.<br/><br/>Position: Full-time, paid in debilitating Class A drugs and Hooters coupons. I also have a signed photo of my Dad if you want.<br/><br/>Timeframe: Until I%u2019ve jumped the shark so much I become a parody of myself.<br/><br/>Description:<br/><br/>-Massaging my nursing tigers mammaries so that their teats are constantly ready for milking. We will be mixing this with ether and auctioning them off in Maximuscle bottles on eBay as #TigerBlood<br/><br/>-Deflecting all %u2018remember that time he knocked the shit out of a woman%u2019 news stories with humour, please remember I exposed those women to “magic”.<br/><br/>-Letting me beat you at Mortal Kombat, thumb-wars and masturbation races. I need to maintain a constant level of #winning.<br/><br/>-Ensuring I always have a fresh rotation of porn stars in my play pen%u2026guest room, whatever. Bonus to your pay packet if you can find me Annabel Chong.<br/><br/>-Threatening my fellow A-list celebrities into Tiger Blood endorsements. Kim Kardashian%u2019s ass high priority for advertising space.<br/><br/>-I need an eight-ball inserted into my anal passage each morning. This isn%u2019t a glamorous task but you should be fucking grateful to be in the presence of a Hollywood legend, do you realise I was in Scary Movie 3?<br/><br/>-Keeping the sniper on my roof fed and watered. They are operating on a shoot to kill policy for any mental health workers that have the audacity to approach Sheen HQ and need to be alert.<br/><br/>Knowledge of first aid, CPR and KY jelly wrestling skills are an advantage. As are breasts.”")
⏲ 0:22 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_gatuno-rap.jpg "shot by Jess Dunlap<br/>audio engineered by Pete Olivo<br/>titles by Jackson Adams<br/>being a cat by Chaplin<br/><br/><br/>O hai<br/>i'm that guy<br/>built so fly in a silk bow tie<br/>don't know why i'm built so fly<br/>but i am, no lie<br/>oh my<br/>rolled by on a low ride Huffy<br/>sitting on the pegs, shelltoes puffy<br/>cuff rolled up to my calf<br/>class out the ass<br/>bad with the swag like buffy<br/>Gotta be the one to bite the bullet i'm sinner but i bet I coulda been a better man<br/>I wanna be zen. but I go sipping on some medicine instead of meditating but I get when i can<br/>I don't wanna wind up in the gutter with a bottle of malt-<br/>liquor, bitter cause i never got a call<br/>telling me<br/>that it's all<br/>figured out<br/>i'm sick of doubt<br/>but i'm looking at the wall<br/>part of me was hoping to be caught up in the moment and to be open to the good and the God in me<br/>but i got a labotomy and i get that I oughtta become a bit of an oddity when somebody gets offended by the thought of me<br/>who's he? you gotta be kidding me<br/>do me like Gabourey Sidibe<br/>if you see me with a chickadee<br/>no diggity it'll be giggity giggity giggity<br/>gonna send it like a letter from above<br/>with a woman that I love<br/>cause I get it like i live<br/>but if my baby's gay I'll say you go gay baby, work that crib!<br/>work that bib<br/>burp that kid<br/>screw po-lice<br/>flip that car<br/>i don't want a Jesus piece<br/>but i want a Reece's Piece and a Kit Kat Bar<br/>I want everybody focusing on getting me to Letterman to kick it for the betterment of innocent Americans who never want to settle for their pop<br/>Or not--<br/>my bedroom rocks<br/>and the beat still knocks<br/>when I sort my socks<br/>i'm five foot eleven of sex from the tip of my head to my gorgeous knees")
⏲ 1:28 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_diddy-dirty-money-ft-swizz-beatz-ass-on-the-floor.jpg "Diddy - Dirty Money (Ft. Swizz Beatz) - Ass On The Floor ( Official Release) Download Link: http://hulkshare.com/xa3q2bcmrwpd")
⏲ 4:23 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_female-singer-falls-on-her-ass-in-live-tv-show.jpg "Female Singer Falls On Her Ass In Live Tv Show")
⏲ 0:39 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_pull-the-ass-of-a-monkey.jpg "Comedy - pull the ass of a monkey")
⏲ 0:9 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_lady-gaga-paparazzi-hd-bad-romance-ellen-beyonce-video-phone.jpg "Lady Gaga Paparazzi HD Bad Romance Ellen Degeneres Show Was The Best Video Phone Ft Beyonce Below- <br/>Here's the deal peoples! Some artist's just \")
⏲ 3:41 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_booty-shaking-gone-wrong.jpg "A bootylicious booty shaker has an accident while shaking her ass.")
⏲ 0:44 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_lightning-butt-video.jpg "what would he do if someone hand him a rechargeable battery <br/>heh~ it's out of battery can you help me recharge it~~ between ur ass haha")
⏲ 1:15 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_the-worst-fighter-on-the-planet-gets-easily-beat-up.jpg "I've met quadriplegics that could kick this loser's ass.")
⏲ 1:11 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_lebron39s-mom.jpg "King James gives his mother a happy belated Mother's Day greeting on live TV: \")
⏲ 0:56 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_have-you-ever-seen-an-asshole-talk-bill-o39reilly.jpg "Presenting the most annoying news person on TV talking like an ASS. Bill O'Reillythe BUSH Lover speaking from the heart.")
⏲ 0:36 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
_cupid-shuffle.jpg "dont get me drunk with a camera around. I'm shaking my ass. Give me a chance, I can dance")
⏲ 0:36 ✓ 19-Mar-2024
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_charlie-sheen-needs-an-intern-and-valium.webp "Metanews: After having “gobbled the soft target” of reaching 2 million Twitter followers like a “bag of troll-house zombie chow,” the unstoppable %u2013and not at all careering towards a full mental breakdown most likely ending in catatonia %u2013 Charlie Sheen is enlisting an intern with there being zero risk of media interest drying up. The perfect opportunity for someone looking for a foot-in-the-door into the heady heights of Hollywood royalty and permanent psychological damage. The advert went something like this%u2026<br/><br/>“Please send a CV, full body shot (does not have to be professional) and your cup size.<br/><br/>Position: Full-time, paid in debilitating Class A drugs and Hooters coupons. I also have a signed photo of my Dad if you want.<br/><br/>Timeframe: Until I%u2019ve jumped the shark so much I become a parody of myself.<br/><br/>Description:<br/><br/>-Massaging my nursing tigers mammaries so that their teats are constantly ready for milking. We will be mixing this with ether and auctioning them off in Maximuscle bottles on eBay as #TigerBlood<br/><br/>-Deflecting all %u2018remember that time he knocked the shit out of a woman%u2019 news stories with humour, please remember I exposed those women to “magic”.<br/><br/>-Letting me beat you at Mortal Kombat, thumb-wars and masturbation races. I need to maintain a constant level of #winning.<br/><br/>-Ensuring I always have a fresh rotation of porn stars in my play pen%u2026guest room, whatever. Bonus to your pay packet if you can find me Annabel Chong.<br/><br/>-Threatening my fellow A-list celebrities into Tiger Blood endorsements. Kim Kardashian%u2019s ass high priority for advertising space.<br/><br/>-I need an eight-ball inserted into my anal passage each morning. This isn%u2019t a glamorous task but you should be fucking grateful to be in the presence of a Hollywood legend, do you realise I was in Scary Movie 3?<br/><br/>-Keeping the sniper on my roof fed and watered. They are operating on a shoot to kill policy for any mental health workers that have the audacity to approach Sheen HQ and need to be alert.<br/><br/>Knowledge of first aid, CPR and KY jelly wrestling skills are an advantage. As are breasts.”")
_gatuno-rap.webp "shot by Jess Dunlap<br/>audio engineered by Pete Olivo<br/>titles by Jackson Adams<br/>being a cat by Chaplin<br/><br/><br/>O hai<br/>i'm that guy<br/>built so fly in a silk bow tie<br/>don't know why i'm built so fly<br/>but i am, no lie<br/>oh my<br/>rolled by on a low ride Huffy<br/>sitting on the pegs, shelltoes puffy<br/>cuff rolled up to my calf<br/>class out the ass<br/>bad with the swag like buffy<br/>Gotta be the one to bite the bullet i'm sinner but i bet I coulda been a better man<br/>I wanna be zen. but I go sipping on some medicine instead of meditating but I get when i can<br/>I don't wanna wind up in the gutter with a bottle of malt-<br/>liquor, bitter cause i never got a call<br/>telling me<br/>that it's all<br/>figured out<br/>i'm sick of doubt<br/>but i'm looking at the wall<br/>part of me was hoping to be caught up in the moment and to be open to the good and the God in me<br/>but i got a labotomy and i get that I oughtta become a bit of an oddity when somebody gets offended by the thought of me<br/>who's he? you gotta be kidding me<br/>do me like Gabourey Sidibe<br/>if you see me with a chickadee<br/>no diggity it'll be giggity giggity giggity<br/>gonna send it like a letter from above<br/>with a woman that I love<br/>cause I get it like i live<br/>but if my baby's gay I'll say you go gay baby, work that crib!<br/>work that bib<br/>burp that kid<br/>screw po-lice<br/>flip that car<br/>i don't want a Jesus piece<br/>but i want a Reece's Piece and a Kit Kat Bar<br/>I want everybody focusing on getting me to Letterman to kick it for the betterment of innocent Americans who never want to settle for their pop<br/>Or not--<br/>my bedroom rocks<br/>and the beat still knocks<br/>when I sort my socks<br/>i'm five foot eleven of sex from the tip of my head to my gorgeous knees")
_diddy-dirty-money-ft-swizz-beatz-ass-on-the-floor.webp "Diddy - Dirty Money (Ft. Swizz Beatz) - Ass On The Floor ( Official Release) Download Link: http://hulkshare.com/xa3q2bcmrwpd")
_female-singer-falls-on-her-ass-in-live-tv-show.webp "Female Singer Falls On Her Ass In Live Tv Show")
_pull-the-ass-of-a-monkey.webp "Comedy - pull the ass of a monkey")
_lady-gaga-paparazzi-hd-bad-romance-ellen-beyonce-video-phone.webp "Lady Gaga Paparazzi HD Bad Romance Ellen Degeneres Show Was The Best Video Phone Ft Beyonce Below- <br/>Here's the deal peoples! Some artist's just \")
_booty-shaking-gone-wrong.webp "A bootylicious booty shaker has an accident while shaking her ass.")
_lightning-butt-video.webp "what would he do if someone hand him a rechargeable battery <br/>heh~ it's out of battery can you help me recharge it~~ between ur ass haha")
_the-worst-fighter-on-the-planet-gets-easily-beat-up.webp "I've met quadriplegics that could kick this loser's ass.")
_lebron39s-mom.webp "King James gives his mother a happy belated Mother's Day greeting on live TV: \")
_have-you-ever-seen-an-asshole-talk-bill-o39reilly.webp "Presenting the most annoying news person on TV talking like an ASS. Bill O'Reillythe BUSH Lover speaking from the heart.")
_cupid-shuffle.webp "dont get me drunk with a camera around. I'm shaking my ass. Give me a chance, I can dance")
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